I don’t do online dating. I’ve never even tried it so this post isn’t really about online dating per se. It’s about what women put in their online ads, specifically when it comes to race.
If you’ve been reading my blog, you know my thoughts about race. I think that race doesn’t matter. Just go about living your life without fear and whatever you need will come to you. You only fail if you give up. However, sometimes it can be daunting to read through online dating profiles and see that almost no woman ever puts down that she’s looking for an Asian guy. They either put down that they prefer white, black, sometimes Latin, or no preference.
If you let it get to you, it can be discouraging but I want to tell you that it doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t and here’s why. I know a lot of girls who have online profiles. I’ve dated girls who have online profiles and you know what? Every single one of them say in their profiles that they are looking for a SWM – a single white male. And yet they dated me. I know one of the girls thinks of me as the great love of her life who got away, yet in her Match profile she’s says she’s looking for a white guy?
So what gives? What’s probably happening is that by saying they are looking for a white guy, it’s kind of short hand for saying “we get the same jokes, like the same stuff, we understand each other.” It almost never means she’s looking for someone who has light pink skin and blond hair. You can meet a girl and show her that you get the same jokes, understand each other, and then the “white” thing goes out the window. It doesn’t matter because you met her real requirements, regardless of skin color. When I hear that a girl has never dated an Asian guy before, I just think “well, she hasn’t met me yet.” Almost every girl I’ve dated has never dated an Asian guy before.
Now, specifically about online dating – I think it’s a bad idea. I just think things are stacked against Asian guys in online dating. Putting myself in front of a girl and talking to her, that’s my strength. Responding to online ads with email pretty much eliminates every advantage that I have so I don’t do it. If there are guys, Asian guys, who have been able to successfully date online then more power to them. My opinion is that we should be the best men we can be, get out there and meet people.
